"Justice, Peace, Honor, Faith, Love, LIFE!"

1.6
Classical Writing
Goldi-locks and the Three Bears

Once there were three bears, a big Father bear, A medium Mother bear, and a small Baby bear. One day Mother Bear said to them, “Let’s go for a walk while our porridge is cooling”, the two agreed and they all set out in short order. Meanwhile, in another part of the woods Goldi-locks was pestering her mother as to whether she could go out to pick flowers, her mother finally gave in on the condition that Goldi-locks wouldn’t go far, Goldi-locks agreed, but forgot all about it in 8.16528739 minutes flat. Anyways she started picking flowers but when she next looked up she was far into the woods, and she being very scared started to run until, presently she came to a little cottage so she, feeling somewhat braver, knocked on the door.

To Be Continued
1.8

Classical Writing
Goldi-locks and the Three Bears 1.1

Once there were three bears, a big Father bear, A medium Mother bear, and a small Baby bear. One day Mother Bear said to them, “Let’s go for a walk while our porridge is cooling”, the two agreed and they all set out in short order. Meanwhile, in another part of the woods Goldi-locks was pestering her mother as to whether she could go out to pick flowers, her mother finally gave in on the condition that Goldi-locks wouldn’t go far, Goldi-locks agreed, but forgot all about it in 8.16528739 minutes flat. Anyways she started picking flowers but when she next looked up she was far into the woods, and she being very scared started to run until, presently she came to a little cottage so she, feeling somewhat braver, knocked on the door. When nobody answered she pushed open the door and saw a table with three bowls of porridge on it with three various sized chairs set around it, she went over to the table, for she was very hungry and tasted the porridge in the biggest bowl, it was too salty, she went over to the medium bowl and tasted it, it was too sweet, so she went over to the small bowl and tasted it, it was just right. After she had thoroughly ingested the contents of the bowl, she went and sat in the biggest chair, but it was too high for her, so she sat down in the medium chair, but it was too low for her, after which she tried the smallest chair, which was just right, and she rocked and rocked until the bottom broke right out of the chair. Seeing this, she went upstairs and saw a row of three beds, so she lay down in the first, but it was too hard, so she lay down in the second bed,but it was too soft, so she lay down in the third bed and it was neither too soft, nor too hard, but just right, so she lay down and was dead to the world in under 2.58474758 seconds.
To Be Continued
1.9

Classical Writing
Goldi-locks and the Three Bears 1.2

Once there were three bears, a big Father bear, A medium Mother bear, and a small Baby bear. One day Mother Bear said to them, “Let’s go for a walk while our porridge is cooling”, the two agreed and they all set out in short order. Meanwhile, in another part of the woods Goldi-locks was pestering her mother as to whether she could go out to pick flowers, her mother finally gave in on the condition that Goldi-locks wouldn’t go far, Goldi-locks agreed, but forgot all about it in 8.16528739 minutes flat. Anyways she started picking flowers but when she next looked up she was far into the woods, and she being very scared started to run until, presently she came to a little cottage so she, feeling somewhat braver, knocked on the door. When nobody answered she pushed open the door and saw a table with three bowls of porridge on it with three various sized chairs set around it, she went over to the table, for she was very hungry and tasted the porridge in the biggest bowl, it was too salty, she went over to the medium bowl and tasted it, it was too sweet, so she went over to the small bowl and tasted it, it was just right. After she had thoroughly ingested the contents of the bowl, she went and sat in the biggest chair, but it was too high for her, so she sat down in the medium chair, but it was too low for her, after which she tried the smallest chair, which was just right, and she rocked and rocked until the bottom broke right out of the chair. Seeing this, she went upstairs and saw a row of three beds, so she lay down in the first, but it was too hard, so she lay down in the second bed,but it was too soft, so she lay down in the third bed and it was neither too soft, nor too hard, but just right, so she lay down and was dead to the world in under 2.58474758 seconds. Soon after, the three bears came back from their walk, they had just opened the door when they noticed something peculiar, “Someone has been sitting in my chair, and has eaten some of my porridge!” roared the father bear, “Someone has been sitting in my chair, and has eaten some of my porridge!” growled the mother bear, “Someone has been sitting in my chair, busted right through it, and finished off my porridge!” exclaimed the baby bear. Seeing that there had been an intruder, they went upstairs to search for further clues, “Someone has been lying in my bed!” roared the father bear, “Someone has been lying in my bed!” growled the mother bear, “Someone has been sleeping in my bed and here she is!” exclaimed the baby bear. Goldi-locks woke up when she heard Baby Bear’s shrill voice, and seeing the three bears’ angry countenances, she was so scared she ran downstairs and was out the door before anyone could stop her.
The End.

1.13
Classical Writing
A Laconic Answer.

Once there was this guy named King Phillip of Macedon, who wanted to conquer this place called Laconia, so he sent a letter to the inhabitants saying, “If I come to your city I will raze your buildings to the ground.”  Now the Spartans who lived there were called Lacons, and were famous for saying only what needed to be said, and not a word more.  In a few days King Phillip got a reply from the Lacons saying “If.”  Which was sufficient enough to say “If!  If that tiny word is such an obstacle for you, you had better watch out, or you’ll find we’re much stronger than ‘If’.”
The End.